Monday, May 23, 2011

Fox Shorts, Eat My Shorts.

This past weekend I rode the River Trails with Joey and Evan up to Capitol and back; word on the streets is, the rest of it is probably in pretty bad shape. The sections we rode were pretty nice, though.

Joey and Evan, River Trails, Milwaukee

While I'm smiling on the outside, I'm frowning frumpily on the inside at my one and only pair of 'casual riding shorts'. I don't know what model they are, but they are Fox's womens' trail shorts. Here they are, hiding behind my bike.

River Trails, Milwaukee

They look pretty cool, but as far as garment design goes, these suck a big one.

I went for one ride in them, and this is what my (ordinary, not velcro covered) saddle did to the fabric in the upper-inner thigh region:

Thumbs Down, Fox Shorts

Tons of pilling... it appears that the fabric is made out of some sort of grey cotton candy. It was not enough for the designers to put a single layer of this awful fake ripstop fabric on the outside of the padded shorts, they went ahead and added a tag larger than a credit card and only slightly smaller than a license plate on the inside of the shorts. That's four and five layers of fabric total, with somewhat tough corners on the tag, making the small of your back sweat even more and scratching the tender tops of your biscuits every time you move.

Thumbs Down, Fox Shorts

'Rider Designed' my sweaty, itchy arse. Show me the rider that said "I'm sweaty, I'm uncomfortable, and these will soon look like junk... Cut! Print! Ship!"

As a final insult, the snap on the waistband isn't reinforced, so after one ride of being bent over the handlebars while ripping it up, the snap will be falsely broadcasting to everyone that it's got its work cut out for it. Give me a break, shorts. I have to crank the velcro tabs on the sides just to make it feel like I'm not going to jump out of you the next time I hop on the bike.

Thumbs Down, Fox Shorts

I hate you.

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